The Conflict Within: The Fight for Survival

We’re Wired for Inner Struggle—and How to Find Stillness Amid Chaos

The Silent Battle in Every Choice

Every day, you wake up and start deciding:
What to eat, what to wear, what task to tackle first.
Each decision—big or small—creates tension inside of us. We think stress comes from the outside world, but the truth is: the real war is within.

In reality, there is stress everywhere. But mostly it is our perception of the things happening rather than the things themselves. If we learn to shift our perception, we change our reality and how we respond to our environment.

Why? Because every choice presents risk, and our primal brain is evolved to minimise or avoid risk. We are hardwired for survival, not self-actualisation. Yet, we live in a world that demands growth, innovation, and relentless progress. This mismatch is why inner conflict feels traumatic and like endless torture. It also explains why as a species we are always looking for ways to escape. And the honest fact is that one can not exist without the other, that is the simple yet brilliant paradox of life. There is no good without bad and no happy without sad. Every Yin needs its Yang, two aspects of a single whole.

The Evolutionary Blueprint for Conflict

Long before we worried about presentation slides or Instagram engagement, survival meant escaping predators and finding food. Every decision was life or death.
That ancient wiring hasn’t gone away. It whispers through our modern anxieties:

• What if this fails?

• What if I lose everything?

• What will they think of me?

According to Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow, our brains rely on System 1 (fast, instinctive, emotional) for immediate safety—and only reluctantly engage System 2 (slow, deliberate, rational). This explains why fear dominates when uncertainty arises and the world we live in today is beleaguered by existential challenges.

Scarcity and the Shadow of Marx

Karl Marx argued that society is built on competition for resources. Even when resources appear abundant, our scarcity mindset persists. We hoard time, money, and energy—always afraid of losing what we have or not getting what others have or do.
This isn’t just economic; it’s existential. Scarcity shapes morality: Do I help others when it costs me? Do I choose security over passion?

This mindset is literally the start of many terrible life decisions and their consequences.

Jung and the Inner Enemy

Carl Jung called this unseen turmoil “the Shadow”—the repressed desires and fears that shape our decisions in secret. When you procrastinate on a bold idea or sabotage your own success, it’s often your shadow speaking:
“Stay safe. Don’t risk. Comfort is survival.”

Facing the shadow is hard. It requires consciousness—and consciousness is uncomfortable because it asks us to own our fear. You have more than likely watched the movie “The Matrix”. And if you have not, you should! “Welcome to the Matrix!” That movie was a cinematic awakening and had a profound impact on cinematography, altering audience expectations, and so it is with life. The problem with being awake is that you have to be accountable for everything you do. It is true that ignorance is pure bliss.

The Existential Angle: The Illusion of Control

Deep down, much of this conflict stems from a brutal truth: we control far less than we think.
Every plan is a hedge against chaos. Yet life resists control. This tension creates a hum of existential anxiety, amplified by modern demands for perfection and certainty.

Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard wrote that anxiety is “the dizziness of freedom”—the awareness of infinite choices. Each decision births another, creating an endless chain. We crave safety, but progress asks for risk. The middle road feels safe, but its price may be mediocrity.

The Antidote: Rest as Rebellion

Here’s the rub:
We think more action solves inner chaos. But often, rest is the most radical response.
Silence, stillness and rest interrupt survival-mode thinking.
It signals to your nervous system: “You are safe. You can breathe. You can choose without fear.”

Practical steps:
- Schedule non-negotiable stillness daily—even 10 minutes of intentional breathing or silent reflection.
- Try “Decision Detox” days—remove minor decisions (like Zuckerberg’s gray T-shirts or Job’s white t-shirts) to reduce cognitive load.
- To be productive, start with the hardest tasks and end your day with the easiest to get the most out of it
- Journal on this prompt: What am I trying to control today that I cannot control? Do I need to? You will find that the answer is almost always no.

I recently read this poem:

“Just Let them.
If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.
If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.
If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.
If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.
If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.
If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.
If they want to walk out of your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.
Let them lose you. You were never theirs, because you were always your own.
So let them.”

―Cassie Phillips

I think if you can adopt this approach to all facets of your life - this will bring you peace and you will go a long way to letting go of the things you can not control as well as resolving a lot of the conflicts both internal and external that we face daily.

I will, at some point in the near future do a full post based on Cassie’s poem.

Reflection Prompt

What survival-mode signals are dominating your week?

References

• Kahneman, D. Thinking, Fast and Slow

• Jung, C.G. The Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious

• Marx, K. The Communist Manifesto

• Kierkegaard, S. The Concept of Anxiety

Next in Series:
The Conflict Within: The Art of Creation — why innovation feels terrifying and how to walk a path no one has walked before.