Existential Thought - What Is Success?

And why does the perception of success matter so much?

Is it defined by material things such as a nice house or car, or the lifestyle we outwardly portray? Or is it the relationships we build and successfully maintain?

According to Merriam Webster Success is the accomplishment of desired goals, the attainment of wealth or status, or the positive outcome of an endeavour. It is subjective, often defined by personal fulfilment, happiness, and growth, rather than just external markers.

…and this is where it gets interesting…

There is an assumption and its not even that quiet, that sits beneath almost every conversation about success.

That it is earned.
That it is deserved.
That it is the natural outcome of effort, intelligence, or discipline.

This logic applies both financially and socially but often times could not be further from the truth!

I often say to my mother - Good things happen to bad people just as much as bad things happen to good people. It is the way of the world. It is the way of the universe, it does not discriminate in the way that we do. So neither being good or bad is a precursor for success.

If you look closely at the lives we often point to as examples of success, the picture of success is extremely fuzzy!

I wont even mention Donald Trump…

Lets take Nelson Mandela.

History remembers him as a symbol of resilience, leadership, and moral authority. And rightly so.

But there is an uncomfortable truth embedded in that story.

Mandela’s defining moment was not simply his leadership.
It was his survival.

Twenty-seven years in prison.

Long enough for the political landscape to shift.
Long enough for global pressure to build.
Long enough for others to fall away.

What if he had not survived?

What if another freedom fighter had lived longer?
Would history have simply told a different story about a different man?

Was Mandela’s greatness inevitable?
Or was it, at least in part, the intersection of endurance and timing?

To the frustration of many activists, but was it in fact the 27 years in prison that forged the man to become the symbol of benevolence and kindness that he became? Which in turn turned him into the positive global symbol? Was he successful?

Now consider a different kind of example.

Michelle Obama.
Hillary Clinton.

Both are undoubtedly intelligent, driven, and accomplished.

But it would be incomplete to ignore the platform that amplified their visibility.

They married future Presidents in a country that sits at the centre of global attention.

That platform matters.

The question is not whether they are capable.
The question is how many equally capable individuals exist without that amplification.

How many Michelles and Hilarys are there?

Women with the same discipline, the same intellect, the same work ethic, the same sense of purpose… Perhaps even greater?

But without proximity to power.

Without the platform.

Without the timing.

Are they less successful?

Or are they simply less visible?

This is where the idea of success begins to fracture.

Because once you start looking closely, you realise something uncomfortable:

Success is not just about what you do.

It is also about:

• where you are born

• who you are surrounded by

• when your moment arrives

• what systems exist around you

• what opportunities present themselves

• and whether you survive long enough to meet them

There are people born into environments where the infrastructure of success already exists.

There are others born into environments where every step forward meets resistance.

And yet we often measure both outcomes on the same scale.

There is another dimension to this.

We tend to divide people into two categories:

Successful and unsuccessful.

But that division is misleading.

A more honest distinction might be:

Doers and non-doers.

The non-doer, by definition, removes themselves from the possibility of success.

They stop.
They withdraw.
They disengage.

And so their outcome becomes predictable.

But even this is not absolute.

Because life is not a closed system.

A non-doer can inherit wealth.

A non-doer can encounter opportunity.

A non-doer can be carried forward by circumstance.

Time and chance do not discriminate.

As the old idea and the bible suggests:

Time and chance happen to everyone.

Then there is the doer.

The person who continues.

Who builds, attempts, fails, adjusts, and tries again.

But even among doers, outcomes diverge.

Not all effort produces the same result.

Not all ideas meet the right moment.

Consider Facebook.

It was not the first social network.

Before it, there were others:

• Friendster

• Myspace

Who remembers Hi5????

They had the idea.

They had users.

They had momentum.

But they did not become what Facebook became.

Why?

Partly execution.

Partly design.

But also timing.

Infrastructure improved.
User behaviour evolved.
The environment was ready.

The same idea, arriving at a different moment, produced a different outcome.

Which raises another uncomfortable question:

Were the people who built earlier platforms less capable? Less smart? Less Successful?

Or were they simply early? And was their failure necessary for those that came after them to succeed?

And then there is the rare category.

The relentless doer.

The individual who does not stop.

Who adapts, pivots, reinvents.

Who absorbs rejection, failure, and delay as part of the process rather than as signals to stop.

This person changes something fundamental.

Because over time, their body of work becomes undeniable.

Not because they were given the perfect moment.

But because they created enough attempts that eventually one aligned with the moment.

Their success appears inevitable in hindsight.

But in reality, it was cumulative.

Built through repetition, persistence, and refusal to disengage.

Do this long enough and you become the pre-eminent expert in whatever field you dedicate yourself to as others fall away

So what is success?

It is not a fixed identity.

It is not a permanent state.

It is not even entirely earned.

Success is an outcome.

And outcomes are shaped by:

• effort

• environment

• timing

• access

• survival

• and chance

Which means the difference between success and failure is often thinner than we admit.

Sometimes it is discipline.

Sometimes it is proximity.

Sometimes it is timing.

Sometimes it is simply being there when the conditions align.

This does not make success meaningless.

But it does make it more complex.

Because if success is not purely a reflection of merit, then it cannot be the sole measure of worth.

And if failure is not purely a reflection of inadequacy, then it cannot be the sole measure of limitation.

What remains, then, is something simpler.

What are you doing?

With your life and what does it mean to you?

Are you engaging with the world?
Are you building something?
Are you attempting, adjusting, continuing?

Because while success is influenced by many variables, doing is the only one that remains within your control.

And even that is not permanent.

A doer can become a non-doer.

A non-doer can become a doer.

The states are fluid.

So perhaps the question is not:

Are you successful?

But:

Are you still in motion? Progress, which I believe is the greatest measure of success is only possible by putting one foot in front of the other.

Because success, in many cases, is simply what happens when motion meets the right moment.

And that moment is not always predictable.

But it is always possible.